What Kind of Love is This?
A love that chooses to stay, even here.
I don’t think I would have stayed.
Not there. Not like that. It’s easy to say we would – from a distance, from comfort, from knowing how the story ends. But, if I’m honest, if I let the moment come close enough to feel it…I think I would have stepped back. Found a reason. Created space.
Been anywhere but there.
Do anything but stay.
For years I have wrestled with what to do with myself on this day. I have wanted it to rush by. I have wanted to ignore it. I have wanted to fall asleep and wake up on Sunday, where the story feels more comfortable, clearer, resolved.
Be anywhere but here.
Do anything but stay.
And yet, this is where the story asks us to remain. Not at the empty tomb. Not at the celebration. But here. Because Good Friday does not resolve. It doesn’t explain itself. It doesn’t soften the edges. It doesn’t rush to meaning. It simply shows us something.
A friend betrays.
Another denies.
The rest leave.
Power wins – or at least, it looks like it does. And at the centre of it all…Jesus stays.
What kind of love is this?
A love that does not walk away when it would be easier to.
A love that does not defend itself when it is misunderstood.
A love that does not force its way out when it still could.
A love that stays.
I don’t recognise that kind of love easily. Not in myself. I notice how quickly I move past things. How instinctively I reach for what’s next. How uncomfortable it feels to remain where nothing is resolved. To stay, without fixing.
And yet, a man hangs on a cross. Not symbolically. Not abstractly. Actually. Literally. Breathing becomes effort. Time slows. Words come in fragments. “My God, my God…” This is not distant. This is not neat. This is not easy to explain. And still…
He stays.
What kind of love is this?
This is not just a man staying.
This is God refusing to leave.
There is a word for it – Emmanuel. God with us. Not only in the light. But even here. In the confusion. In the pain. In the not-yet-resolved. Not distant. Not absent. Present.
Even on this day.
What kind of love is this?
Not the kind that keeps its distance. Not the kind that only stays when things make sense. Not the kind that waits for everything to be fixed. But a love that comes close.
A love that remains.
A love that does not leave, even when everything else does.
And maybe that is the quiet truth of this day. God has not gone anywhere. Even here. So perhaps today is not about understanding everything. Not about having the right answers. Not about rushing ahead to what comes next.
Just staying.
Maybe that looks like a few quiet minutes. No answers. No fixing. No moving on too quickly.
Just staying.
Staying with the question. Staying with what feels unresolved. Staying long enough to notice…that even here in the confusion, in the pain, in the not-yet-finished – God is present.
What kind of love is this?
A love that stays, even here.
Josh | A Curious Follower
This is the first of three reflections over the coming days. If you’re choosing to stay with this, you’re not alone.